4 Ways Trailers Have Changed (or What to Expect When You're Expecting... a Movie)

*To keep this article spoiler free, I'll be referring to a fake Frankenstein movie that IS NOT REAL.*

Being an admitted Marvel fanboy, with a blog about movies that specifically writes articles about movie trailers, one might assume, "Phil, you saw the new Civil War trailer, right?" One would assume wrong. This is because earlier this year, I somehow became jealous of people who saw a Michael Bay film on opening night. How does this happen?

Well J.J. Abrams has a habit of being extremely secretive with his movies, almost to a fault. Cloverfield's entire marketing campaign was based on the "wtf is this movie even?" strategy, and it paid off in spades. So what do you do for the sequel? Make the movie entirely in secret, call it something else, deny any plans for a sequel and don't say anything about it until 2 months before the movie comes out. Also, "announce" the movie by attaching the trailer to a Michael Bay movie that's basically anti-Clinton propaganda, and also make it one of the most interesting trailers in recent memory.

Not to shock everyone, but I didn't end up seeing 13 Hours. Instead I watched the trailer on my laptop at 1AM and stayed up the rest of the night wondering if I just had some weird dream. They wouldn't make a sequel to Cloverfield that just took place in a bunker... is that the guy from the Newsroom... and why is John Goodman putting marshmallow fluff on a piece of bread? All real thoughts I had that night. And I knew it was 10 Cloverfield Lane, because that's the title of the trailer on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, OrangePearl, and Instagram. Can you imagine how much weirder that trailer would be if you had no idea it was intentionally a J.J. Abrams mind scrambler?

Ever since then, I've been horrendously jealous of anyone who got to be surprised by that trailer. I've been horrendously jealous of people who saw a Michael Bay movie. Which is why I am waiting to watch the Civil War trailer until tomorrow, fittingly lined up with the movie that made me want to be surprised by trailers again in the first place. But it's really hard to wait, and here's why.

1. Movie Trailers are Viral Now

The internet is not a safe place if you don't want to watch a trailer. If by some miracle you don't know why the Civil War trailer is a big deal yet, I won't spoil it for you, but needless to say it's been spoiled for me. Facebook has ads hidden in the "trending topics" that will basically summarize the biggest reveal in any trailer. Didn't want to know that Gene Wilder makes a cameo in the new Frankenstein movie? Too bad. It's in the trailer, and that's in the description.

But let's say movie studios didn't pay social media sites to make their movies trend. They might not actually have to, because we've got people for that. And people NEED to share that video. I'm worried this might shatter some people's worldview, but Universal has enough money to advertise their movies. If you don't share the new Frankenstein trailer, people will still see it. And if you're thinking, "Boy, my friend Phil LOVES Frankenstein, I should put this trailer on his wall so he sees it!" let me assure you, I've already seen it.

We've all seen it. It's on every social media platform, heck, some trailers even make it on the news. Like on a TV. But we still have to share it, because that's what we're used to doing. For some reason we think everyone just wants to hear our opinions about every trailer that comes out... thank you for reading my blog though.

Don't worry, it's not your fault. Trailers are designed to be viral. Even 10 Cloverfield Lane, the movie I praised for being so secretive, was only secretive, so people would share the secret. They play off our desire to be the "FIRST!" to comment, the first person to be in on the story. Despite the fact that we're the 10 millionth person to see it, we still think the studio is just whispering to us. It's how social media works in general. You populate your page with so much personal stuff that everything on it feels very human and organic; even when it's some faceless corporation lying to you. Oh, and that's the next point.

2. Trailers are Made of Lies

It's almost criminal how dishonest movie trailers are allowed to be. Transformers 4: The One with Mark Wahlberg, promised dino-robots in the trailer. Almost a third of the trailer was devoted to Robo Rex fighting Semi-Smacker. In the actual movie there was about 4 minutes of dino-fighting. But technically speaking, everything they showed in the trailer showed up in the movie. It's not like they lied entirely about what the movie was as a whole. That would be wrong.

Which brings me to Ghostbusters... again. My biggest problem with the trailer (not the movie) is that it starts off with a lie. The theme plays in ominously slowed down, Jurassic World form, and then text shows up saying "30 Years Ago, Four Scientists Saved New York". First things first, Winston was an average joe and Peter Venkman was more of a con artist, so at best 2 and a half scientists saved New York. Secondly, everyone involved with the new Ghostbusters says this is a "hard reboot", meaning in the new movie the originals never happened. So saying "30 Years Ago, Four Scientists Saved New York" are they referring to Dr. William Devries and his team that invented the Jarvik-7? That's a deep cut. Google it. I did.

But Ghostbusters and Transformers aren't the only dishonest trailers. Almost every trailer uses what I like to call "trailer cutting" where people will have conversations they don't actually have in the movie, because they're in entirely different places, at different times, talking to different people. It's actually kind of a fun game. Someone says "What is that?" in some science lab, then they cut to someone on top of a mountain saying "That's the end of the human race!" as a big robot ship flies by. In the actually movie, the "What is that?" could be referring to some guys lunch slightly off camera, then the guy on the mountain could be the judge at a mountain marathon that aliens are spectating. It's all lies, and that's the point.

3. Trailers Don't Care if you like the Movie (just that you see it)

Remember when two trailers ago, Batman v. Superman revealed Doomsday and everyone on the internet began ineffectually yelling at their computers? "You revealed too much!" we yelled into the void. People got really mad. Then they posted statuses on Facebook, tweeted on Twitter, bumbled on OrangePearl, and applied the "impotent rage" filter to all their Instagram pictures. A non-existent survey (we don't really have the budget for surveys here) of those people showed that 100% of them are still seeing the movie on opening weekend.

Every purist nerd who shouts about "how stupid the new Ninja Turtles look" or "why is there a Ninja Turtle in a Superman movie" or "why aren't their NInja Turtles in this Charlotte Bronte adaptation" is almost certainly seeing the movie they yell about opening weekend. Then they'll hate it, grumble all the way home, and see it again the next day because of some dark masochistic piece of their soul. It's why Michael Bay can make three crappy movies about Go-bots and still be number one at the box office with the fourth.

I don't like to talk about politics (on this blog) but the trailer strategy is very similar to Donald Trump's media strategy. Every time Trump says "pigeons poop on your car because you believe in global warming" or something equally ridiculous every media outlet gives him a ton of attention. Then we all give him a ton of attention and need to tell everyone on OrangePearl how much Donald Trump hates pigeons. People who hate pigeons then see this via his free advertising strategy and Donald Trump wins. So when you see a trailer you hate and talk about it, you're doing free advertising for the movie.

Which is probably why Doomsday is in that trailer, if you really think about it. For non-comic fans, he's just some weird rock monster that the superheroes will fight; no big issue. But for those obsessed with the lore, this was so infuriating the world HAD TO SEE IT. Considering the "haters" are a guarantee on opening weekend, they've just shared it with 200 people that might not be, and end up winning in the end. This is a valid strategy, but there is a sincerely better one, and it's better for everyone.

4. A Really Good Trailer can sell a Movie

Yeah, my final point is "Make the trailer good" but seriously it's a valid strategy. 10 Cloverfield Lane looks like it could do some serious business this weekend, with the strong trailer being pretty much the only thing going for it (from a box office perspective). Don't get me wrong, there are weirdos out there (me) who hear John Goodman and Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and get really excited. But if you asked the average movie goer how they felt about a watching the Dad from Roseanne in a bunker with the lead actress from Final Destination 3, they'd probably say no.

It's still friday though, and my estimates for how the movie does could be wrong. A proven example of the Good Trailer theory is Guardians of the Galaxy. One could argue it was coasting off the Marvel brand, but comparing it to last summer's Ant-man kind of disproves that. Actually, Ant-man had substantially more star power, Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas are much bigger names than (at the time) Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana. So what really ended up selling the idea of Guardians was the "ooga chacka" trailer that has since been replicated by so many other movies (Suicide Squad, 10 Cloverfield Lane, and Suicide Squad again).

Remember Inception? That entirely original movie that wasn't a sequel, wasn't based on a book, and introduced trailers to the loudest horns you've ever heard? Inception's trailer sold the movie so well, almost every action movie from then until now has used the droning horns, hoping that loud brass instruments are what audiences want. Spoilers: it's not.

But that's the weird thing about Hollywood and how they think trailers work. It's like a robot trying to understand a joke. "Chicken + Road = Laugh" but not understanding why saying "100 Chickens + 100 Roads" doesn't equal 100 laughs. What they don't understand is LOUD HORNS wasn't what people loved about the Inception trailer, they loved seeing a city fold into itself. It looked mysterious and interesting. Guardians of the Galaxy had the same thing. Sure, Hooked on a Feeling is a great song, but I'm more interested by a talking tree and raccoon in space.

This speaks to what a movie audience is hungry for in general. Dime a dozen reboots, sequels, or seboots (trademark) aren't guaranteed to impress an audience anymore. A generic trailer for a generic Terminator seboot isn't going to get people interested. Effective trailers and effective movies are all about giving the audience something they haven't seen before, but leaving enough out to have them wanting more.

Or just have Frankenstein hold Captain America's shield. That works too.